Big Difference
by JumbledIdeas
Summary: Something Gibbs says gets Ziva thinking. As things play out maybe her seemingly big difference can give her the same amazing results. Tag to Light sleeper and others yet to be decided Bad summary. Hopefully better story.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Of course none of this really belongs to me. I just manipulate them to do as I wish.** **So...tag to 'Light Sleeper' and some other episodes to come.**

The team stands scattered slightly around the bull pen. Tim and Tony are both stationed by their desks referencing the plasma screen when need be. Jethro is standing in front of his desk. They are all bouncing ideas off of each other as they attempt to plan their next move. "We've got taps running in case she tries to contact her family."

"She won't," Ziva commented as she neared Jethro's desk. McGee told them nothing was amiss at the store, no sign of Yoon. "It's highly doubtful she'd make another attempt on his life." Then Tony interjects that they have agents scouting out her house. "She definitely won't be returning home."

Tony turned to her. "And how do you know this, Officer David?"

She was about to speak when Jethro spoke up, "Because Yoon Dawson wouldn't." Then he turned to Ziva. "What is it that you would do?"

Glad that he seemed to understand that she had experience with this type of thing Ziva turned to the plasma. "If I was Yoon, everything I have done up until this point has been to protect my cover. I have dealt with my threats--"

"If by dealt with you mean gunning down two defenseless housewives," Tony interjected. Ziva shot him a look over her shoulder. Jethro came to stand next to her and gave her a look that prompted her to continue.

"If my cover was blown I have two options," she said.

"You return to your country," Jethro stated.

Ziva nodded, "Or I complete the mission I was assigned."

"So Jane Bond," Tony drawled, "how do we find you?"

Ziva looked up. "You don't. By now I've changed my appearance, have a new identity with back up papers, and I've relocated."

"Well, then I guess that just about wraps it up. Who wants lunch?" Tony said.

"No one eats until we find Yoon Dawson," Jethro commanded.

"Gibbs, if she is playing it like I would we won't find her. She is long gone."

Jethro turns his attention back to Ziva. "There's one big difference between the two of you, Ziva." Ziva cocks an eyebrow at his curiously. He looks at her levelly. "You don't have a baby girl."

Ziva stops short of her response, not quite sure how to respond to that. Her mind grasps on to any argument that wouldn't get her into any sort of trouble as well as get her no where. "Most likely part of her cover," she reasoned. "Or an occupational accident."

Jethro shakes his head slightly. "Nah, it's more than that." Then he leaves and the conversation is over. They all part, Ziva going with Jethro to the Dawsons' house and McGee and Tony looking for some sort of clues and leads to where Yoon may be.

* * *

The team shuffles back into the bullpen and make their ways to their respective desks. Ziva took her place sat as casually as possible, just thinking about the day's events and periodically glancing towards the clock. Tony sits down heavily and leans back tiredly. McGee absently runs a hand over his face. The day seems to have taken a toll on all of them. They aren't there very long when the sound of the elevator disturbs the quiet that had settled around them. Second later, Jethro appears around the side of the divider along with Sergeant Dawson who is holding his baby girl. The team watches on, noticing the slightly haggard look of the sergeant.

"What's going to happen to her?" he asks somewhat distraught. He anxiously shifts the baby in his arms.

Jethro looks at him steadily. "She'll be tried for what she's done. Their may be a possibility for a deal that will lessen the consequences."

"How am I going to do this?" he asks. It isn't really a question meant to be heard but it wasn't silent either.

"You'll _survive_," Jethro says, gently stressing the word to get his point and meaning across. "You'll do just fine. Because you have to for your little girl."

The sergeant nods his head as he turns his gaze to the daughter in his arms and hugs her tightly to him. A few moments later Yoon is brought through escorted by two guards. Dawson's head lifts as he spots his wife and he takes a step forward. Jethro motions for the guards to stand down and they move a safe distance away from the group of people. Dawson makes to hand the baby over to Yoon but she shakes her head and holds her arms at her sides.

"If I hold her now, I won't be able to give her back," she says sadly. Gibbs stands close by as a safety as an unnecessary safety precaution but rather it be himself than the harsh guards standing nearby. Tony and McGee are still at their desks and are seemingly occupied with other things but Jethro knows better. Ziva has stood from her chair and has rested one hip against her desk as she faces the direction of Jethro's desk that the family is standing in front of. She can hear them speak to one another quietly and she watches them interestedly. Yoon assures Dawson that she loves him and baby Haylie very much and that she doesn't want for her to know about any of this when she gets older. She doesn't want her daughter to know such things about her. "It is better she does not know me at all," she said. "I want you both to stay safe and happy. Be a family."

Dawson moved forward and pulled her against him with her free arm. "Everything will be ok," he insisted. "We'll be together again, we'll be a family. I love you."

Ziva could feel herself becoming very emotional as she watched the family say their good byes. This does not go unnoticed by Jethro. He saw her become unusually affected by what is going on. He spent only a few seconds debating whether to approach her and when he finally decided he would he is interrupted by Yoon announcing that she is ready to leave. Jethro turned his attention towards them and gave the orders for Yoon to be escorted to where it was she needed to be. He turned back to address Ziva but found that she was already gone. Her things were not on her desk so he knew that she'd left for the night. Jethro sighed and moved closer to Staff Sergeant and Haylie Dawson. He gave him a few words of comfort and wished him well as he announced her was going to head home. Dawson left and Jethro turned to the last two members of his team. They were seated at their desks doing some routine paperwork and neither had acknowledged that fact that Ziva had slipped out.

"Go home you guys," he said tiredly. "Been a long couple of days. We aren't on call this weekend. See you Monday." They look up slightly surprised but knew better than to question it. They gathered their things and headed towards the elevator with a call of 'Night, Boss' over their shoulders.

Gibbs sat down at his desk and sighed. He ran a hand over his face tiredly; his team had nearly been blown up today and had disobeyed his direct order to leave, opting instead to stay by his side. When they'd arrived back he'd wanted to be able to tell them what that meant to him but that it was completely unnecessary for them to put themselves in such danger. That's what he wanted to do but that wasn't how it had been able to come out. But he knew they understood, or at least he hoped they did.

He loved every member of his team in their own way. It was obvious that Abby had the childish and daughter-like qualities. Ducky was an old, very good friend. He saw Tony and Tim as arguing brothers that were close friends and to some extent brothers to him.

And Ziva, well, Ziva was another story entirely. Jethro would have to be blind to not acknowledge the fact that she was very attractive. But he also saw that she was strong, independent, determined, intelligent, clever and mysterious. He'd never met someone quite like her. She was sometimes like a puzzle he just couldn't solve. But he loved every second of it. He loved just being around her, either when she was in her serious mode to get things done and have your back or when she was more laid back and just good company. Much about her past and her personal life were a complete mystery to him but he also felt that he knew her better than most. She could put up such a strong front for everyone to see but she would be full of emotion and thoughts that would be impossible for any other to break down. Jethro had been able to see her without that wall on more than one occasion and didn't take it lightly. He was honored that she trusted him enough to let go like that in front of him. To allow him to give her some sort of comfort, when all along she's only ever been taught to fend for herself and hide everything.

Jethro's thoughts about Ziva had instantly reminded him of what he'd seen that day. Something had been bothering her enough for him to catch a look at it as it snuck through her well developed masks. He looked over at her desk before sighing again. He made a quick decision before standing and gathering his things. He was headed to Ziva's house.

**AN: Well there's the start of it. Tell me if it is worth continuing. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. May not have an opportunity to update as often as I'd like but stick with me please. I'll attempt to make it go as quickly as possible.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: It is nowhere near possible that I could own anything to do with NCIS so I won't even try. Not mine, I just play with it. Enjoy.**

* * *

Ziva sighed as she settled down on her couch. She picked up a remote and began to flip idly through the channels. She'd changed out of her work close and into a simple pair of blue jeans and a long sleeve white shirt. She stopped her channel surfing and stopped at the movie channel to find 'Air Force One' playing.

The movie was about half over but she left it there anyway. She really wasn't even paying much attention to the story line but rather thinking about this past case. She'd tried to put herself in Yoon's position as they had run through everything they knew. She had thought she'd done pretty well relating and putting herself into the mind set of Yoon but found that she was wrong to some degree. And it appeared to stem from one main difference. A difference, that Gibbs had been quick to spot. She didn't have a baby girl. Ziva had given his statement a lot of thought but still couldn't decide if that was a good thing. She didn't know if being able to separate oneself so completely from the idea of family and love that you forgot how it could affect other people's thoughts and decisions was bad or not. She supposed it may have something to do with her much less than perfect example of family growing up. But she had thought that she had been learning and changing. She had found people to love and who loved her in return. Why had it just slipped her mind so easily?

She wasn't sure how long she'd sat their thinking when a knock came at her door. Glancing at the clock and seeing the time she looked at the door strangely, not knowing any reason someone would be at her home at this hour of the night.

She approached the door ready for anything, not knowing what to expect on the other side. She reached out and grasped the handle soundlessly before opening the door about two feet and settling herself in the opening. The sight before her caught her by surprise. _So much for 'ready for anything'_, she though mentally slapping herself a little. Jethro was standing in her doorway, his hands casually inside his pockets to shield from the slight cold or the night. He looked up at her with a small, friendly smile. "Hey, Ziver," he said. The unconscious nickname made her smile and she saw Jethro's eyes take on a happy sparkle. Maybe it wasn't so unconscious after all. Truth was, Jethro loved to do something that made her smile and he knew the nickname was a sure fire way to do it.

"Jethro," she acknowledged. Ziva had easily come to call Jethro by his first name outside of work. She'd really only meant it as a one time deal when they had parted ways after their first encounter of each other. They hadn't known they would ever see each other again. After being assigned to his team she'd taken to calling him 'Gibbs' in the office but 'Jethro' seemed to stick for all other occasions. He never made any sort of action that would imply that he didn't like it so she continued. It was nice to be able to think of him as a friend as well as respect him as a boss. "Come in." She moved aside and opened the door widely welcoming him into her house. He did his typical, quick survey of his surroundings before turning to Ziva.

"It's nice," he said in reference to the room.

"Thank you," Ziva said. "You can set your jacket down anywhere. Make yourself at home. Can I get you anything?" Jethro shook his head. Then he made a motion towards the couch silently asking to sit and she nodded. He draped his coat over the back on the chair as he rounded the side of the couch and sat down. Ziva looked around for a moment as though looking for something and he guessed that she wasn't quite sure where to sit or what to do with herself. He made another wave towards the couch, this time to the spot next to him as he leaned back tiredly. Ziva gave a small bite to her lip before taking a deep breath and sitting down beside him.

She sat down with her legs tucked up underneath her and faced him, one arm on the back of the couch and the other curled around her middle. They were silent a moment until Ziva finally spoke, "Why are you here, Jethro?" Her question wasn't unkind, merely curious. He gave her a side long glance before her turned his body to face hers also.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his tone was low and concerned. This surprised Ziva for a moment but she quickly covered it up.

"Why would anything be wrong?"

Jethro gave her a doubtful look. "I don't know," he replied honestly. "That's why I asked you. You're not ok but I just don't know why." Ziva lowered her eyes to her hands in her lap where she was fidgeting with her fingers. That was a very un-Ziva thing to do. She was normally so impenetrable during any sort of questioning, whether it be harmless or torturous. Jethro became more concerned by this behavior and he gently reached out a hand and raised her chin to look at her face. He saw so much emotion in her usually well guarded eyes. Now face to face with her, he moved his hand along her jaw to the side of her face and up into her hair and caressed the back of her head softly. "Tell me, Ziver."

Ziva felt her eyes begin to sting as she looked on into Jethro's. "Why am I so cold?" she choked out. Jethro eyed her quizzically about to speak up when she continued. "Why do I seem to have no feelings at all? I can't look at the situation like a normal human being would. What is wrong with me? Why am I so heartless?" She pulled her arm down from the top of the couch and moved it to wrapped snuggly around her torso. She sat there on the couch next to him crying and breaking down.

"Ziva," he said softly, "there is nothing wrong with you. Absolutely nothing." He moved his hand to cradle the side of her head. "You're full of so much life, Zi. You have intelligence, wit, courage, drive and strength. But you also have beauty, humor, and a secret romantic side. Ziva, you are so many things, but cold is definitely not one of them."

"How could you know?" she questioned childishly.

Jethro shifted closer to her and put an arm around her shoulders. He gently pulled her towards him and rested her head against his chest. Resting his cheek against the top of her head, he closed his eyes. "I know that because I know you," he said softly. He took a deep breathe, "Because I love you." He held his breathe as he let go of his secret.

Ziva froze. She slowly pulled back from the embrace slightly. She looked up into his face. "What?" she asked him confused.

Jethro sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He opened them again and looked down at her. Her tears had ceased but her face was still stained and wet. He gently wiped at her cheeks with his thumbs. "I love you, Ziva," he repeated, his voice a cross between confidence and apprehension.

Ziva continued to watch him, unsure of what to do. She was at a loss of what to sat,

Jethro scrunched his brow and gave a sigh that held a little frustration. "Look, I know I'm not too great at all of these…feelings…things. I tend not be the most sensitive kind of guy but for the most part I know what's going on in here," he idly gestured towards his head and chest, indicating his mind and heart. "Just…think about it, Ziva. Please."

As if his admission wasn't enough to throw her Ziva was floored when the word 'please' came from his mouth. She knew how much that usually cost him. It wasn't like him. Ziva tried to control her breathing as she rested her chin to her pulled up knees. She chanced a quick covert glance up at Jethro before staring intently at her toes.

Jethro sat anxiously next to her. He was just about to speak up when Ziva did.

"No," she said firmly looking up at him again. Her tears were gone now, only their tracks remained. She seemed to have gained some of her usual confidence and spoke with definite assurance.

Jethro practically felt his heart break as she responded in such a way. He closed his eyes tightly for a few seconds and clenched his fists at his side. Sighing, he opened his eyes again. "Ok," he muttered. "I'll get out of your way. Forget it." He made to stand up and head for the door.

He was only a few feet from the door when Ziva's voice stopped him. "What I mean," she said, "is that I do not need to think about it."

Jethro turned back around quickly. Ziva had stood from the couch as well and was now leaning against the arm closest to him. He inclined his head towards her, finding himself eager to hear what she has to say. His hopes rose slightly.

They stood in silence for a long moment, just looking at each other, until Jethro suddenly took a few quick strides towards her. He stopped right in font of her and looked down into her eyes. One hand came up to stroke her hair hesitantly while the other took a hold of her waist in a soft grip. "Did you mean it?" he asked huskily, his voice raw.

Ziva looked his straight in the eye and gave a sure nod. Jethro grinned while sliding his hand from her head to the back of her neck, guiding her head gently towards his. He leaned down slowly, keeping eye contact with her until their lips finally met.

* * *

**AN: Alright. There's chapter two. I hope you liked it. Tell me what you think. Reviews are loved.**


End file.
